184? 

Til* 


UC-NRLF 


273 


GIFT  OF 
Class    of   1900 


7»» 
v  7  / 


A  Tramp's  Scraps 


By  H.  I.  M.  Self 


To 

Anybody 

Anywhere 
Anytime 


C.  C.  Parker 

220  S.  Broadway,  Los  Angeles,  California 

1913 


el 


«   « 


Table  of  Contents 

Page 

?  7 

Fire  9 

The  Ghost 13 

In  a  Houseboat 13 

Animals    15 

Humatiaa    17 

At  Sea  21 

A  Quarrel   25 

The  Witching  Hour 27 

Perrochino    29 

Smallpox    29 

"May  Good  Digestion"  31 

Bug-hunting    33 

Evelina 35 

Shooting  in  Illinois 39 

After  Ostrich  ; 41 

A    Whitlow    43 

Buchaton    45 

Fever    47 

"To  Sleep,  to  Sleep"   49 

"Half  the  World,  Etc."  51 

Hard  Times    53 

"There  was  a  Ship  Quoth  He."  55 

Health    and    Appetite 59 

The  Knuckle-duster  59 

Wanderers    61 

"The  Weary  Ploughboy" 63 

Another  Quarrel   63 

Another  Fire    65 

Two  Falls  and  a  Cow 69 

Real  Ghosts    71 

On  the  San  Rafael  Ranch  73 

Express  Charges  77 

Cotton  Packing  81 

Man  Overboard   85 

"The  Old  Oaken  Bucket 87 

A  Dog  Story 89 

Arden    89 

Horses    95 

Sudden  Death,  Etc 97 

A  Game  at  Billiards 98 

Thieves    101 

Brief  Authority 105 

*r&QK 


A,  an  Argentine,  comes  in  to  a  pulperia  and  talks 
loudly  to  another  native.  B  objects,  laying  his  hand 
on  A's  arm,  and  asks  him  to  make  less  noise. 

A  steps  back,  putting  his  hand  on  his  knife,  and 
B  throws  him  out  of  doors  and  shuts  the  door. 

Later  A  returns  and  he  and  B  sit  down  to  talk  it 
over.  A  says  that  he  is  an  Estanciero,  with  thirty 
thousand  head  of  live  stock  and  would  have  treated  B 
well  if  he  had  come  to  his  place;  why  had  B  thrown 
him  out? 

B  said :  "Too  much  noise  and  knife." 

B  had  put  on  an  ulster  and  had  a  Derringer  in  his 

hand  in  his  pocket;  a  man  had  told  him  that  A  was 
coming  back  to  kill  him. 

For  two  hours  or  so  they  sat,  A  talking  a  little  and 
then  jumping  up  in  front  of  B,  his  knife  wandering 
up  and  down  B  who  sat  perfectly  still  watching  as  if 
it  was  a  show.  Then  A  would  sit  again  and  jump  up 
again  and  so  on.  They  use  a  knife  here  as  an  English- 
man would  his  hand  and  are  so  quick  that  the  pistol 
would  never  have  saved  B,  though  he  might 
have  killed  A,  killing  is  not  much  thought  of  and  this 
man  was  wild  to  do  it.  Why  did  he  not?  Was  it 
Providence?  Or  was  it  that  A  being  a  brave  man, 


Buena  Noche   Toreador. 


Digging  Ye  First  Corral  Ditch. 


8 


he  could  not  kill  a  thing  that  made  no  resistance. 

Later  it  turned  out  that  A  was  on  some  govern- 
ment work  and  had  seventeen  soldiers  camped  outside ; 
they  had  stayed  at  an  Estancia  the  night  before  where 
he  had  lost  money  at  monte  probably,  probably  had 
a  "wet"  night. 

He  was  not  in  an  amiable  frame  of  mind.  When 
he  went  to  bed,  he  asked  B  if  he  would  come  and  kill 
him  as  he  slept;  also  if  B  would  lock  up  his  papers 
and  things. 

B  told  him  to  go  to  bed;  that  (B)  was  English. 
But  why  is  B  alive  ?  and  perhaps  A  ? 


FIRE! 

Five  small  wooden  huts  originally  brought  from 
England  and  later  hauled  forty  miles  or  more  across 
a  camp  on  bullock-wagons  to  start  a  new  colony  next 
to  Indian  territory.  Each  hut  is  about  eight  feet 
square  and  they  are  a  foot  apart  with  the  high  grass 
cut  off  around  about  in  case  of  prairie  fires.  Three  men 
from  one  end  hut  have  gone  shooting  deer  or  emus  or 
whatever  turns  up,  leaving  a  heap  of  powder-flasks, 
guns,  saddles,  and  clothes  in  one  corner  of  their  shanty ; 


A  "Prairie"  Fire. 


10 


blankets,  etc.,  hanging  out  of  the  lower  bunk,  half- 
cover  and  open  box  on  the  floor  with  eight  pounds  of 
loose  powder  in  it.  The  next  hut  is  empty  except  when 
the  owner  comes  to  lie  down,  gasp,  and  perspire.  It 
is  so  hot  that  you  can  break  a  piece  of  grass,  and  he  is 
digging,  with  scarcely  any  clothes  on,  the  first  big 
corral  ditch.  Once  as  he  lies  half  stupidly,  listening 
lazily  to  a  crackling,  thinking  that  if  he  had  sense 
enough  he  would  wonder  what  it  could  be.  Then  he 
gets  up  to  see.  Fire  had  started  in  some  way  in  the 
heap  of  clothes  and  was  running  up  the  thin  boards 
to  the  roof.  There  is  not  much  room  but  there  is  a 
fork  with  which  he  begins  to  shovel  out  the  burning 
heap,  and  yell  for  water,  which  his  brother,  asleep  in 
a  further  hut,  brings  when  he  realizes  what  is  wanted. 
This  water  was  thrown  into  the  box  of  powder,  but  all 
this  time  the  sparks  have  been  falling  into  it  and  the 
man  wants  to  know  why  everything  was  not  blown  to 
kingdom  come  before  that  water  came. 

When  the  shooters  got  home  there  were  remarks. 
Reminded  me  of  the  story  of  two  roughs  in  London 
who  were  talking  over  an  article  in  a  paper  about  the 
improvement  of  the  lower  classes  which  one  read  to  the 
other,  who  remarked :  "Yes,  we're  a  bad  lot,  Bill,  but  we 
'as  our  fun."  The  other  day  there  was  a  bloody  fire  and 
the  bloody  fire  engine  come  down  the  bloody  street  to 
the  bloody  'ouse  an'  there  was  a  bloody  ole  fool  standin' 
at  the  top  winder,  an'  I  says,  jump,  ye  bloody  fool  and 
me  an'  my  mate  Bill'll  ketch  yer  in  our  blanket,  an'  the 
bloody  fool  'e  jumps  an'  e'  breaks  'is  bloody  neck — we 
'adn't  got  no  bloody  blanket." 


11 


'And  Said  as  Plain  as  Whisper  in  the  Ear, 
the  Place  is  Haunted." 


Sampans  on  the  Yellow  River. 


12 


THE  GHOST. 

A  lonely  little  old  hut  on  the  bank  of  a  river  in 
Illinois  said  to  be  haunted.  Man  went  and  slept  there 
part  of  a  night,  cold,  woke  up  covered  with  snow  that 
had  drifted  in  through  holes  in  the  roof.  Went  home, 
no  ghost.  Shooting  duck  on  the  way  back  got  stuck 
in  a  slough.  Another  man  turned  up  and  took  one  end 
of  the  gun.  Man  in  the  mud's  legs  stayed  on  and  he 
came  out.  If  anyone  don't  believe  this  he  has  the 
legs  still.  Don't  go  after  ghosts  though;  you  may 
find  one. 


IN  A  HOUSEBOAT. 

On  the  Yangtze  River,  houseboats  have  a  cabin 
with  bunks,  table,  and  a  mast,  that  should  go  up  and 
down  so  that  you  can  get  under  bridges  made  of  long 
blocks  of  stone ;  they  also  have  a  huge  sail  made  of 
matting.  You  put  your  cook,  coolies,  and  provisions 
aboard,  get  your  passport,  and  are  off  through  mer- 
chant ships,  junks,  men-of-war,  sampans,  etc.,  up  the 
river,  and  through  the  pass  where  they  saw  the  fire 
from  Shanghai  and  got  up  in  time  to  save  the  captain 
of  a  craft  where  the  men  had  been  tied  to  the  masts 


13 


On  the  Yangtze  Kiang. 


~-if/i#F*si 


A  Pulperia. 


14 


and  the  ships  set  on  fire  by  pirates.  Sometimes  the 
coolies  pull  you  with  a  rope ;  sometimes  push  you  with 
poles ;  sometimes  you  sail.  When  you  please  you  land 
and  shoot  pheasants  scared  out  of  Chinese  graves  (big 
and  little  mounds  covered  with  reeds  etc.)  by  bones 
thrown  in,  plenty  of  bones,  remains  of  bamboo  stock- 
ades used  in  the  Taeping  rebellion  still  standing. 
There  are  duck,  plover,  and  snipe;  and  now  and  then 
you  pass  through  a  Chinese  village.  Natives  stare  and 
big  dogs  get  excited.  It  is  as  well  to  keep  a  watch, 
at  night  particularly  when  near  any  soldier  junks,  as 
we  were  at  Foochow. 


ANIMALS. 

A  pulperia  with  the  usual  crowd  evenings,  Spanish 
Mayor  domo  excited  because  he  says  a  big  Argentine 
(a  stranger  in  with  a  tropa  of  prairie  schooners  from 
Mendoza)  drew  a  knife  on  his  compradre,  the  Italian 
proprietor.  Writer  was  close  but  saw  no  knife.  Span- 
iard being  a  man  in  authority  has  always  a  lot  of  hu- 
man jackals  ready  to  take  his  part;  he  is  not  any  good 
himself.  Argentine  run  out  of  pulperia  and  beaten, 
etc.,  till  insensible.  Englishman  comes  up  and  finding 
another  Spaniard  (said  to  have  been  a  brigand  form- 
erly) burning  the  Argentine's  fingers  with  a  match, 


15 


A  Row. 


What's  Left  of  San  Carlos  Cathedral — Humatiaa,  Paraguay. 


16 


saying  that  he  is  shamming,  abuses  everybody;  stoop- 
ing over  the  Argentino,  finding  his  heart  is  still  beat- 
ing; slips  his  hand  under  him  and  takes  his  knife  (a 
poor  little  one  which  he  pockets)  ;  asks  if  the  crowd 
think  they've  done  enough  ?  They  go  back  to  the  pul- 
peria,  Englishman  also,  but  he  returns  in  five  minutes 
and  finds  the  man  has  come  to  and  is  staggering  about. 
He  lies  down  when  found.  Crowd  turn  up  again,  but 
hearing  that  the  first  who  meddles  will  be  shot,  keep 
quiet  till  at  last  the  juez  de  paz  (Argentino)  turns  up 
and  takes  charge  of  man.  Tried  in  Rosario  later,  he 
says  that  the  Englishman,  who  is  not  called  as  a  witness 
saved  his  life,  dare  say  he  was  right;  men  are  brutes 
sometimes. 


HUMATIAA. 

In  a  little  Paraguayan  village  where  there  is  no 
hotel  we  find  a  shanty  with  a  table  on  which  are  cold 
meat  and  pickles  mostly ;  eat  when  you  like,  sleep  when 
and  where  you  can,  and  pay  is  exorbitant.  Two  of  us 
slept  on  a  table.  We  are  here  after  jaguars.  One 
found  a  hammock  said  to  belong  to  the  cook — don't 
know  what  became  of  him — this  was  slung  over  the 
table,  all  in  the  same  room  which  opened  on  the  main 
street.  The  old  town  was  smashed  in  the  last  fight 
which  was  a  plucky  one  and  where  the  fellows  left  alive 


17 


OJ 

a 
5 


rt 
a> 
> 

H 


18 


got  out  of  the  town  by  tying  dead  soldiers  to  posts 
by  dummy  guns,  leaving  them  on  guard  till  the  other 
fellows  found  out.  There  is  nothing  left  of  it  but  the 
ruins  of  a  cathedral  (San  Carlos),  high  bare  walls 
with  great  timbers  sticking  out  into  the  sky  and  holes 
made  by  cannon.  One  of  us  tried  to  sketch  it,  but  it 
was  not  easy  as  the  population  were  interested  and 
shut  one  up  in  a  circle.  The  present  village  is  half 
a  mile  away,  a  street  of  wooden  shanties  with  big  shut- 
ters (no  glass)  nearer  the  river.  In  the  houses  they 
played  loto  with  much  noise,  and  taught  green  parrots 
to  whistle. 

In  one  there  were  two  delightful  and  rather  fied- 
ish  little  jaguar  cubs,  in  the  street  people  played  bowls 
and  talked  to  anyone  thev  wished.  We  all  knew  each 
other  directly  and  did  the  same.  Now  and  then,  to 
some  belle  going  out  in  scarlet  dress,  gold  embroideries, 
and  huge  earrings,  her  dress  up  to  her  knees  in  front 
and  a  long  train ;  nothing  much  on  her  shoulders  or  her 
feet  and  at  night  people  wander  into  the  room  where 
we  are  trying  to  sleep,  eat,  play  cards,  sing,  fight,  and 
so  on.  Sometimes  a  man  on  the  table  goes  mad  and 
sits  up.  I  am  in  the  hammock  above  so  I  go  mad.  It 
doesn't  matter,  everyone  is  mad  with  an  uncivilized 
madness  here. 

So  we  get  up  and  eat,  the  language  is  guarani,  two- 
thirds  Spanish,  one-third  Indian  and  a  trifle  of  Portu- 


19 


Adios  Humatiaa. 


Your  Stateroom. 


20 


guese;  nice  language,  with  a  click  in  it  like  a  dissi- 
pated watch. 

There  was  a  baby's  funeral  among  other  things. 
The  little  body  covered  with  flowers  and  surrounded 
by  candles,  is  carried  round  on  a  board,  by  a  crowd 
and  brass  band ;  they  come  in,  put  it  on  a  table  or  some- 
where. The  band  plays  and  the  crowd  fraternize 
and  drink  cana  till  tired.  Then  to  another  house  and 
this  goes  on  till  they  are  all  drunk  and  till  the  baby  has 
to  be  buried. 

AT  SEA. 

"Ye    gentlemen    of   England    who    stay    at    home 

at  ease, 
How  little  do  ye  think  upon  the  dangers  of  the  seas!' 

Eleven  days  in  the  Bay  of  Biscay  off  Tencriffe.  A 
nasty  sea;  seems  to  come  everyway;  knocks  the  ship 
one  side  and  the  other  till  she  trembles  like  a  live  thing. 
Engines  only  strong  enough  to  keep  us  off  shore  and 

we  get  out  twice  only  to  be  driven  back  again.  Life 
lines  out;  fiddles  on  the  table;  water  washing  about 
saloon  and  cabins ;  one  lady,  in  a  top  berth,  with  her 
door  swinging  open  and  shut,  wants  to  know  when 
we  are  going  to  be  drowned;  and  "to  have  her  cabin 
mopped  out.  Another,  who  has  been  so  ill  ever  since 
we  left  that  she  is  expected  to  die  and  who  the  captain 
wants  to  put  ashore  but  can't  get  there,  has  a  husband 
looking  after  her.  He  becomes  ill  and  she  suddenly 
gets  well  and  stays  so !  What  kind  of  a  cure  is  this  ? 
The  stove  breaks  loose,  but  no  fire;  too  much  water. 


21 


'Down  in  the  Saloon  Boys"— "Bay  of  Biscay  Oh!" 


22 


Rather  an  unlucky  ship ;  crank  and  cargo  badly  stowed, 
overmasted  and  undermanned ;  once  a  fort'gallant  yard 
came   down   endways    through    forecastle    deck,    lead 
water  tank,  etc.,  made  the  splinters  fly.     Once  a  marine 
spike  came  from  aloft  and  stuck  in  the  deck  close  to 
yours  truly.     Fog  around  St.  Paul's  island.     We  took 
reckoning  for  three  days  but  did  not  know  where  we 
were.     Expected  to  make  the  voyage  in  seventy-five 
days ;  took  nearly  four  months  and  when  we  did  anchor 
ship  ahead  on  fire  broke  loose  and  drifted  down  on  us, 
"those  that  go  down  to  the  sea  in  ships".  One  night  she 
was  rolling  horribly ;  people  holding  onto  saloon  rails, 
steward  came  along  top  side  rail  and  broke  a  man's 
hold,  man  flew  across  and  avoided  crushing  a  girl  in 
a  red  garibaldi,  red  hair,  and  a  pink  ribbon  (he  should 
have  crushed  her)  by  spreading  his  arms  and  feet  as 
he   brought   up   against   the   wall.     Another   steward 
stooped  for  a  turkey  which  was  doing  something  in  a 
big  silver  dish  on  the  floor.     He  loosed  the  rail  as 
the  ship  rolled.     Away  went  turkey  and  man,  getting 
to  the  other  side.      Man's  head  went  whack.     By  the 
time  he  got  his  wits,  the  ship  had  rolled  again  and  the 
turkey  was  half  way  back.    Comforted  oneself,  remem- 
bering the  man  who  when  the  ship  was  going  down, 
reflected  that  he  had  paid  £12  to  go  to  New  York, 
and  they  "had  to  take  him  there." 


23 


"Children,  You  Should  Never  Let  Your  Angry 

Passions   Rise." 


24 


A  QUARREL  IN  CAMP. 

Sunday  afternoons  here  in  camp  there  are  horse- 
races, bone  game,  monte,  drinking,  etc.  At  the  pul- 
perias,  at  a  race  today,  two  brothers  quarrelled.  One 
stands,  knife  in  hand,  talking  to  friends ;  the  other 
twenty  feet  away,  is  held  back  by  men  all  around  him, 
who  getting  tired  of  persuasion  begin  to  hammer  him 
with  their  short  whip  stocks  made  of  wood  or  iron  cov- 
ered with  hide  or  silver,  with  a  long  flat  rawhide  thong. 
These  rattle  on  his  head  like  hail  but  he  seems  to  feel 
nothing  and  see  nothing  but  his  brother  till  suddenly 
he  drops  stunned. 

Fighting  here,  a  man  wraps  his  poncho  round  the 
left  forearm  to  catch  the  other  man's  knife,  holding 
his  own  knife  below  in  the  right  hand  and  watching  the 
antagonist's  knife  instead  of  his  eye.  Sometimes  they 
face  each  other  a  long  while  but  are  as  quick  as  cats 
when  they  move ;  there  is  not  much  interference  usually. 
Once  a  man  on  horseback  rode  in  and  grasping  one  of 
the  fighters  by  his  long  black  hair  pushed  him  away 
backwards.  Unless  it  is  serious  they  do  not  fight  to 
kill  so  much  as  to  slash  faces ;  but  they  don't  seem  to 
care  for  their  lives  much.  A  peon  of  mine  was  brought 
home  an  awful  object.  Santa  (his  woman)  wept  and 
said  he  was  killed  but  he  got  well,  I  asked  the  other 
fellows  afterward  what  they  wanted  to  kill  my  fellow 
for  and  they  laughed  and  said  a  man  did  not  matter; 
pity  to  kill  a  woman,  as  they  are  scarce;  but  Santa 
could  soon  have  got  another  man.  The  last  is  true 
enough.  One  day  a  big  domador  started  back  to  G's 
house,  where  we  sat  on  the  porch  and  could  see  across 


25 


The  Guanaco  Episode. 


26 


the  slope;  he  rode  over.  He  had  won  money  or  his 
silver  harness,  or  for  some  other  reason  three  fellows 
followed  him;  he  had  a  good  little  mare  and  rode  till 
the  one  following  who  had  the  best  mount  was  ahead 
of  the  others.  Then  Jose  jumped  off  and  waited,  get- 
ting his  knife  (it  was  mine  by  the  by),  and  the  other 
man  rode  up  jumped  off  and  ran  at  him,  Jose  made 
one  thrust  and  jumping  on  his  mare  rode  in  with  his 
hand  and  knife  all  blood.  Don't  know  who  the  other 
man  was  but  this  time  soldiers  came  after  Jose  who 
hid  for  three  weeks  in  the  maize ;  his  woman  took  him 
food.  Then  he  appeared  again  with  three  small  black 
cats  which  he  had  found  in  the  corn  and  of  which 
made  pets. 

THE  WITCHING  HOUR. 

Night  in  a  little  house  on  the  pampas  edge  we  got 
some  girls  together  and  had  a  dance.  The  natives 
have  gone  home  and  men  are  sleeping  all  over  the 
floor  and  on  the  table  over  which  is  a  sack  of  hard  bis- 
cuits, etc.,  slung  to  the  rafters.  Through  the  darkness 
and  open  door  enters  one  of  two  tame  guanacos  (some- 
thing like  small  fawn-colored  camels),  steps  on  a  man 
who  wakes  with  a  shriek.  One  man  on  the  table  wakes 
up,  tries  to  sit  up  in  a  hurry,  and  the  bag  of  biscuits 
meets  him  and  knocks  him  flat.  Over  goes  the  table 
and  other  man  and  everyone  and  everything  is  mixed 
up  with  the  quanaco  in  the  dark  till  the  brute  fights  his 
way  out  of  the  house.  Someone  gets  a  light  and  saves 
the  pieces. 


27 


Perrochino  Trapped. 


Fetching  the  Priest. 


28 


PERROCHINO. 

Woman  calling  for  help  at  the  end  of  hallway. 
Man  wanders  over  to  see  what  is  wrong.  At  the 
other  end  of  the  hall  is  a  door  and  a  crowd.  Wanderer 
jumps  in  and  helps  to  hold  the  door,  asking  next  man 
what  is  going  on.  Perrochino,  the  strongest  Italian 
in  the  colony,  has  got  into  trouble  and  is  jammed  in 
the  doorway,  unable  to  do  anything,  while  one  Spaniard 
beats  his  head  with  a  chairleg.  Head  looks  ugly  and 
the  man  is  raging.  Wanderer  gets  the  door  open  a  bit 
and  Perrochino  slips  out,  his  brother,  who  sees  him 
from  a  distance,  discreetly  slipping  down  a  side  street. 
Later  lightning  strikes  a  wheat  stack  and  most  of 
the  men  go  off  with  a  tarpaulin  to  draw  over  and 
smother  the  fire.  Wanderer  left  to  sit  on  the  steps 
with  a  gun  in  case  the  Italian  should  return  to  the 
Senora  and  ninito.  He  does  not. 


SMALLPOX. 

Smallpox  came  our  way ;  seemed  to  take  a  piece 
about  a  quarter  of  a  mile  wide.  Many  died.  Woman 
very  ill  and  man  went  for  Priest.  Rainy  and  windy 
night  and  the  little  lamp  the  man  carried  in  front  of 
the  Priest,  who  was  saying  prayers,  kept  blowing  out 
and  having  to  be  lit  again.  The  atmosphere  of  the 
room  was  awful  for  the  Priest.  Antonia  and  two 
men.  Antonia  was  confessed  and  died.  The  others 
cleared  and  next  day  the  man  got  a  Spanish  carpenter* 
(Tapia)  and  boards  and  sixteen  old  kerosene  cans 


29 


Antonia's  Funeral. 


Near  Corrientes. 


30 


from  the  store  and  they  made  a  coffin  and  lined  it  with 
the  kerosene  cans  and  put  Antonia  in;  her  feet  were 
tied  with  a  ribbon  and  the  smallpox  lumps  showed 
through  her  white  stockings.  Some  friends  came  at 
night  and  in  the  morning  we  soldered  her  up  and  had 
the  funeral.  Two  wheels  and  the  coffin  on  boards 
covered  with  a  cloth,  a  cross  with  her  name,  etc., 
painted  on  it  as  well  as  one  could ;  all  the  mourners  on 
horseback.  We  buried  her.  Her's  was  the  first  death 
here.  Her  sister,  who  came  to  see  her,  was  well  for 
two  weeks ;  then  she  died  in  twenty  minutes ;  she  only 
had  one  mark  on  her. 

"MAY  GOOD  DIGESTION  WAIT  ON 
APPETITE." 

We  had  run  out  of  meat  and  were  living  on  a  few 
hard  biscuits  and  oranges  for  two  days  in  our  boat 
on  a  big  river  in  South  America ;  but  today  we  ran  up 
a  creek  to  Corientes  and  found  any  quantity  at  fifty 
cents  the  aroba  (25  pounds)  ;  so  we  took  some  to  the 
creek  mouth  and  Maria  cooked  it  while  we  sat  round 
with  our  hunting  knives.  Don't  use  plates  and  things ; 
when  cooked  you  cut  a  piece  off,  lay  hold  with  youn 
mouth  and  cut  off  your  mouthful  avoiding  your  nose. 
Cooking  is  done  by  sticking  an  iron  rod  (if  you  have 
one)  through  the  meat  into  the  ground  slanting  over 
the  fire,  turning  it  when  one  side  is  done.  Then  we 
sailed  off  again  and  came  to  Parana  after  a  while. 
There  is  a  revolution  on  (Blancos  and  Colorados)  and 


31 


Cold  Water  Cure — Java. 


32 


the  town  population  is  picknicking  with  bedding,  etc., 
on  an  island  in  the  river.  In  the  town  men  are  on  the 
flat  roofs  shooting  at  others  scurring  about  in  the  bush 
shooting  back;  also  maniacs  are  riding  about  like 
drunken  demons  cutting  at  anything  that  comes  in 
reach.  We  got  away  after  a  bit  and  past  batteries 
on  the  river  bluffs  which  don't  notice  us  (too  small,  I 
suppose),  though  we  pass  close  to  the  tops  of  the 
funnels  of  a  steamer  that  they  just  sank. 

BUG  HUNTING. 

In  Java  you  are  (or  were)  only  allowed  to  drive 
around  the  island.  You  get  a  permit,  from  the  Dutch, 
but  are  not  to  go  into  the  interior  far  from  the 
landing  place  where  there  is  the  biggest  banyan  tree  in 
the  world,  it  is  said ;  a  village  could  be  put  away  in  the 
arches.  There  are  also  numbers  of  fighting  cocks,  a 
very  fine  cocoanut  grove ;  and  lots  of  other  fruits, 
bananas,  plantains,  etc.  The  ship  doctor,  who  was 
a  collector  of  insects,  and  I  got  away  seven  miles  or 

so  over  small  hills  and  through  forest  meeting  only 
a  few  blacks  and  other  insects  till  we  came  to  the 
Upas  tree  valley  (the  poison  from  these  trees  was 
mostly  used  for  arrows).  It  is  said  that  anyone  sleep- 
ing under  them  dies,  and  it  may  be  true — I  don't  know 
how  soon  death  will  take  place  though.  We  did  not 
sleep  there.  There  are  bones  but  other  animal's  bones 
perhaps.  They  say  that  those  that  gathered  the  poison 


33 


\ 


In  Irons. 


A  Tormento. 


soon  died.  Trees  look  like  a  palm.  The  doctor  got 
some  beetles  and  we  came  back  and  eat  bananas  and 
things  till  time  to  return  to  the  ship  with  some  little 
bullocks  and  vegetables.  Our  coxwain  (quarter- 
master) had  been  in  the  navy,  and,  with  them  I  believe 
he  stays  by  the  boat  till  all  the  others  are  away.  Our 
ship  is  P.  and  O.  and  our  cox  was  standing  at  the  foot 
of  the  gangway  holding  a  stanchion  and  steadying  the 
boat  with  his  foot.  Captain  looked  over  the  side  and 
called  him.  Cox  (who  had  had  a  drink  ashore  no 
doubt)  did  not  move,  captain  spoke  to  mate  who  ran 
down  two  or  three  steps  and  jumped  landing  on  cox's 
chest.  Both  went  into  the  sea  with  a  crash.  Boat 
picked  them  up  and  cox  was  put  in  irons.  They  spatch- 
cock chicken  very  well  in  Java. 


EVELINA. 

A  tormento  generally  begins  with  dust ;  then  wind, 
then  rain;  the  two  last  fight  furiously  till  the  rain 
comes  down  solid,  with  now  and  then  blasts  of  wind 
through  it.  One  usually  sees  them  coming  and  shuts 
everything  that  will  shut.  Huts  are  sent  flying  some- 
times. I've  seen  the  roof  of  a  house  taken  off,  and  a 
man  get  to  a  house  on  his  hands  and  knees.  Oh,  yes ; 
she  blows ;  and  the  rain !  In  one  a  man,  his  peon,  and 
woman,  start  out  to  get  three  favorite  horses  picketted 


35 


'To  Die!   To  Sleep— Perchance  to  Dream! 


36 


two  hundred  yards  away.  Man  tells  the  woman  to 
go  back ;  but  once  outside  one  can  hardly  see  or  hear, 

though  people  are  close  together.  Lightning  all 
around  and  thunder  that  seems  to  shake  the  ground. 
There  is  a  white  glare  that  feels  hot  and  a  crash  of 
thunder  and  the  peon  (Pascassio)  called  "my  woman's 
dead !  my  woman's  dead." 

Man  says :  "Is  Evelina  here  ?" 

"She's  blown  into  the  ditch."  But  the  next  minute 
he  steps  on  her,  picks  her  up;  sounds  as  if  she  said 
something  but  her  head  is  wrapped  in  a  poncho,  man 
gets  her  back  to  the  house  and  lays  her  on  her  bed. 
Sends  peon,  who  does  not  know  what  he  is  doing  and 
anyway,  they  won't  touch  anything  struck  by  lightning 
— to  the  nearest  house  where  there  is  a  native  woman, 
cooking. 

Petrona  came,  and  did  what  was  necessary.  Eve- 
lina was  dead  when  picked  up  very  heavy  to  carry. 
Only  one  little  hole  was  burned  in  the  poncho  and 
brown  mark  as  big  as  one's  finger  nail  on  the  back 
of  her  neck.  They  put  four  candles  around  her  in  one 
corner  and  left.  Man  slept  in  another  corner  and  kept 
candles  alight  for  them.  They  would  not  stop  and  said 
the  devil  would  come  for  her  and  take  the  man  as  well. 
Man  said  the  devil  probably  had  better  places  to  go 
to,  and  they  said  he  was  the  wickedest  man  they  ever 
saw.  Came  back  next  afternoon  and  spent  the  night 


37 


Rats!    Musk  Rats. 


4SST1 


-*-^_=      :-  -r,=z=  %. 

=---^=f^T=^L     Jf. 

-;-_—• —      _^— — ^*-  —  — -  fir  iff 

— — — =: y  ^J*. 


On  the  Calumet. 


38 


singing,  playing  cards,  praying,  and  drinking  mate. 
Two  children  went  to  sleep  on  the  floor,  man  got  up, 
put  "kids"  in  his  bed,  and  joined  the  wake.  Next  day 
they  took  Evelina  away  and  left  the  man  alone  again. 

SHOOTING  IN  ILLINOIS. 
"The  days  that  are  no  more." 

The  way  you  used  to  catch  the  wily  muskrat  years 
ago  on  the  Calumet  River  was  to  set  a  tooth  trap  in  the 
water,  in  one  of)  his  runs  in  summer;  in  winter  you 
could  skate  or  walk  to  their  houses,  built  of  reeds, 
three  feet  high,  and  dome  shaped,  and  spear  them  with 
a  three-foot  spear  on  a  pole.  The  skins,  taken  off  and 
dried  by  being  stretched  on  willow  twigs,  were  worth 
seventeen  cents  a  piece.  Big  ducks  sold  for  two  and 
a  half  to  three  dollars  a  dozen  to  the  dealers — canvas 
back,  red-heads,  etc. — smaller  ones,  Teal,  blue-bills, 
widgeon,  butter  balls,  etc.,  for  two  dollars. 
There  were  fellows  there  making  a  good  living  at 
hunting  and  trapping,  and  some  owned  farms  on  the 
river  bank. 

The  duck-shooting  was  the  best  I  have  had  in  any 
country.  Now  I  believe  there  is  still  some  shooting 
held  by  clubs.  The  Pullman  place  is  where  we  used 
to  shoot  hundreds  of  birds  beyond  where  the  best  shoot- 
ing house  (Chittendens)  used  to  be,  where  the  river 
forks.  Then  you  could  shoot  forty  miles  up  to  the 


39 


L—  and  F.  W.  Shot  With  the  P.  of  W.  When  He  Was  Here 
(in  Chicago),  Missed  His  "Injin". 


'I'm  a  Simple  Little  Ostrich,  But  I  Know  It  All," 


40 


Grand  Calumet  and  there  were  lakes  and  swamps, 
flight  shooting  night  and  morning,  and  in  the  day  one 
could  pole  through  the  wild  rice,  etc.,  or  take  a  stand 
now  and  then,  or  land  and  try  the  ridges  for  prairie 
chicken.  There  were  also  woodcock  and  snipe.  Fur- 
ther away  the  pineries  for  deer.  Still  hunting,  because 
there  were  Indians  who  would  shoot  dogs ;  they  do 
spoil  still  hunting.  You  would  not  see  the  Indian  as 
the  brush  was  very  thick.  If  you  do  see  him  and  shoot 
at  him  and  miss  him,  as  one  of  us  did,  it  is  better  not 
to  go  again.  We  did,  and  a  bullet  came  between  us 
and  stuck  in  a  tree.  The  man  I  was  with  did  not  like 
Indians  and  shot  at  them  when  he  got  a  chance. 


AFTER  OSTRICHES. 

On  the  South  American  pampas  you  ride  one  horse 
and  lead  your  fastest  when  you  are  after  ostriches. 
The  birds  raise  their  wings  and  sail  before  the  wind 
at  an  awful  pace  and  if  you  do  not  get  up  to  one  soon 
after  he  starts  you  might  as  well  give  up.  When 
you  get  near  you  change  horses,  and,  taking  your 
bolas  (three  balls  as  big  as  pigeon  eggs  of  lead 
or  brass,  on  a  plaited  rawhide  thong)  from  around 
your  middle,  begin  to  swing  them  around  in  your 
right  hand  keeping  your  finger  hooked  through  the 
fork  of  the  thong,  holding  one  ball  in  your  hand. 


41 


Ostriches — On   the  Look-out. 


Somerset  and  Yo. 


Whitlow,  From  Tree  Pruning. 
South   America. 

Men  off  H.  M.  "Rattler". 


42 


As  you  close  up,  you  bring  them  over  your  head,  let- 
ting your  finger  loose  them  to  their  six  foot  length. 
You  send  your  gee  along  and,  bending  forward,  loose 
them  at  your  ostrich.  If  you  hit  him,  the  bolas  tangle 
him  up  and  down  he  comes.  If  there  are  holes  and 
things,  you  come  down  instead.  It  is  a  fast  thing  and 
as  often  as  not  or  oftener  you  are  bareback.  Some- 
times fellows  make  a  big  circle  and  close  in  on  the 
birds;  then  you  have  a  lively  time,  particularly  if  you 
play  at  being  an  ostrich  yourself. 

A  WHITLOW. 

Pain !  oh  yes !  Fourteen  days  in  and  out  of  bed  alone 
in  a  shanty,  forty  miles  from  town.  Whitlow  they  call 
it ;  an  Indian  woman  advised  a  piece  of  willow  burned 
and  the  powder  mixed  with  the  yolk  of  an  egg  in  the 
shell;  no  good.  Animals  to  feed,  water  to  draw,  etc., 
when  one  is  so  scared  of  one's  own  finger  that  one 
breaks  a  demijohn  up  and  cuts  a  hole  in  the  wicker 
cover  in  which  to  slip  one's  hand  in  bed.  Not  much  to 
eat  and  one  gets  weaker,  but  has  sense  enough  not  to 
stay  too  long  in  a  room  with  a  gun.  Got  the  old  horse 
(Somerset)  and  saddle  on  someway  and  to  town.  Lot 
of  English  sailors  off  a  gunboat  in  the  hotel,  dancing 
and  singing.  Two  are  interested  and  want  to  know  if 
man  will  come  aboard  because  they  "have  a  sawbones 
who  will  take  it  off  with  a  handsaw."  Well,  surgeon 


43 


Diphtheria   at   Pera. 


Buchaton's  Death  in  la  Candelaria. 


44 


cuts  the  finger  up  both  sides  and  later  the  other  two 
sides ;  couldn't  tell  what  it  was ;  never  be  a  success 
again.  One  can  see  what  it  was  meant  for.  Another 
time  diphtheria.  Doctor  came  one  hundred  and  thirty 
miles  and  found  man  with  his  head  in  a  blanket  on  the 
table,  no  brush  and  made  one  out  of  prairie  wolf  hair  ; 
did  his  throat  like  cleaning  a  gun ;  man  got  well. 

BUCHATON. 

Three  houses  now  in  this  colony,  joining  Indian 
Territory.  Mine  was  first;  then  a  Frenchman  came 
and  used  my  well  and  corral,  etc.,  till  he  got  settled 
half  a  mile  away;  and  another  is  being  put  up  for  a 
store.  One  foggy  night,  or  morning  rather  (1  A.  M.), 
some  one  woke  me,  rapping  on  the  door.  As  I  was 
alone  and  one  did  not  expect  people,  or  open  the  door 
after  dark  without  knowing  what  is  on  the  other  side, 
I  asked  and  a  woman's  voice  answered ;  opened  and 
there  was  Buchaton's  wife  with  two  small  children. 
They  had  found  the  house  luckily  after  two  hours  in 
the  fog.  Her  man  had  been  doing  something  with  the 
stove  and  had  words  with  an  Argentine  and  friend. 
The  Argentine  started  for  him  with  his  knife  but  the 
wife  got  it  and  threw  it  away  (man  was  a  little  drunk). 
He  picked  it  up  again  and  killed  the  Frenchman ;  then 
they  tied  him  up  with  a  lasso  (the  woman  had  run  out 


45 


j    s/S/s  ssss  '"  " 


Acclimatizing  Fever— Shanghai. 


Oil  Springs  Typhoid— Canada. 


46 


with  the  children),  got  their  horses,  and  left.  Some 
of  us  got  horses  and  went  to  the  house  but  the  man  was 
dead;  there  was  a  trail  in  the  wet  grass  in  the  moon- 
light but  we  never  caught  them  as  they  changed  horses 
and  got  over  the  line  into  another  state. 


FEVER. 

In  China  and  some  other  places  one  has  a  fever 
getting  acclimated.  One  in  Shanghai  left  man  pretty 
weak  when  the  usual  plague  of  boils  broke  out.  Then 
there  was  less  rest  for  the  wicked  than  ever,  and  he 
balanced  himself  on  a  boil  and  thought  about  Job. 
The  doctor  says  that  the  man  is  better  and  that  this  is 
a  crisis  he  wanted  (man  wishes  doctor  had  it).  But 
man  does  get  well  after  many  dawns,  watching  the 
bats  come  home  to  roost  in  the  round  tiles  used  in  the 
roofs  here.  Then  cats  come  along  the  edge  and  reach- 
ing paws  over  extract  the  bats  and  put  them  away 
and  go  after  more.  The  man  thinks  he's  glad  he's  not  a 
bat  and  goes  to  sleep  and  wakes  up  better  and  forgets 
about  it  till  some  day  years  after  he  dreams  dreams. 

Talking  of  fevers,  when  the  oil  wells  started  in 
Canada  it  was  rather  rough  living.  The  water  to 
drink  very  bad,  and  so  on.  At  all  events  we  got  a  bad 
mixture  of  typhoid  and  smallpox  and  not  much  doctor. 
So  a  great  many  died.  One  of  us  had  it  and  another 
nursed  him  till  he  got  to  his  bed  and  forgot  everything 
except  sticking  a  favorite  pin  in  a  rafter  overhead. 


47 


Baggage. 


A  Night  on  the  "Grimsel"  Pass — Switzerland 


48 


The  other  was  better  and  had  sent  a  line  to  friends  a 
hundred  miles  away ;  they  came,  and  the  two  men 
were  put  on  their  mattresses  on  the  bottom  of  a  wagon 
and  so  over  eighteen  miles  of  corduroy  road  (which  is 
trees  laid  alongside  one  another)  and  into  the  baggage 
car  of  a  railroad  train.  The  war  was  going  on  and  sym- 
pathetic passengers  came  in :  "Oh,  poor  fellows !  where 
were  they  wounded  ?"  Our  friends  said :  "not  wound- 
ed at  all;  typhoid,"  and  the  car  was  empty.  Took  us 
nine  weeks  to  get  around.  H.  McC.  carried  one  along 
the  railway  platform  and  if  you  have  ever  been  carried 
through  a  lot  of  people  when  you  have  sense  enough 
to  know  that  you  are  grown  up  and  want  to  hit  some 
one  if  you  had  the  strength,  you  know  what  one  felt 
like — Wonder  who  got  that  pin ! 

TO  SLEEP,  TO  SLEEP. 

We  did  not  know  this  morning  if  we  would  stay 
the  night  and  went  out  for  a  walk.  While  away 
twenty-seven  geological  students  arrived  and  took 
everything  and  more  in  the  shape  of  beds ;  so  here  we 
are  in  a  big  attic  of  a  little  house  on  top  of  the  Grinsel 
Pass  in  Switzerland.  The  room  is  the  cheese  room 
surrounded  by  shelves  on  which  immense  gruyere 
cheeses  are  drying — all  kinds  of  makeshift  beds  on  the 
floor  and  for  washing  little  basins  and  wine  bottles  on 
a  bench ;  lovely !  Went  to  bed  midnight  and  as  we 


49 


Death. 


Katrina. 


50 


leave  at  4  a.m.  and  the  interval  is  filled  up  by  a  num- 
ber of  peasants  yodeling — below  why  "Happy,  happy, 
happy  be  thy  dreams." 


HALF  THE  WORLD  DON'T  KNOW  HOW  THE 
OTHER  HALF  LIVES  OR  DIES. 

A  small  hut  made  of  reeds,  lost  in  an  immense 
swamp — the  home  of  a  girl  and  an  old  gaucho.  Man 
gone;  don't  know  when  or  where,  leaving  the  girl 
stripped  and  tied  with  a  piece  of  a  lasso  to  a  post  in 
the  hut,  stabbed  and  dead.  She  was  quite  young  and 
rather  pretty — poor  thing. 

At  another  place  found  the  German  girl  who  cooked 

for  the  S s,  stripped  and  tied  down  in  the  prairie 

just  outside  the  village.  Three  natives  (horseback  of 
course)  caught  her  and  carried  her  off  and  staceared 
her.  (I  don't  know  how  they  spell  it  but  that  is  what 
it's  called  in  Spanish)  means  pegging  your  hands 
and  feet  with  rawhide  to  the  ground.  Under  her  was 
a  knife ;  suppose  they  meant  to  kill  her  but  got  scared 
away.  She  died ;  had  been  there  all  night. 


51 


10 


D 


CD 


British   Benevolent   Society — 2   A.M. 


52 


HARD   TIMES— AGAIN. 

A  man  (in  California)  lying  in  bed  dying;  wife  ill 
in  bed  in  the  next  room  watching  him  through  the  open 
door;  third  and  last  room  divided  by  sheets  into  two, 
one-half  with  stove  in  it,  the  other  used  by  anyone  in- 
cluding seven  children  all  under  nine  years  old.  No 
money.  The  man  died ;  money  was  collected  and  he 
was  buried;  and  family  sent  back  to  Europe.  S.  P. 
railway  made  a  reduction  on  fares ;  train  was  to  leave 
at  10  p.m.,  telegram  to  say  it  would  be  11  p.m.. 

The  woman,  children,  and  man  waited  till  eleven 
when  another  message  came  to  say  the  cars  would  not 
be  in  till  2  a.m.  So  they  went  over  to  the  hotel  and 
got  a  sleep  till  a  quarter  to  two  when  the  man  woke 
them  up  and  the  procession  trailed  back  and  got  aboard. 
Trainman  interested :  "Where's  she  goin'  ?"  "Europe," 
said  the  man. 

"With  all  them  kids !     Never  get  there  alive." 

She  did  though;  man  nearly  went  also  as  he  was 
inside  the  car  putting  a  big  roll  of  mattresses  through 
the  door  and  they  jammed,  cars  were  moving  and  man 
crawled  over  the  top  of  the  bundle  and  slid  onto  the 
platform  and  of!  the  car  saying  to  an  astonished  con- 
ductor who  appeared  from  somewhere,  "you  get  those 
mattresses  in  old  man.' 


53 


The  "Cisne"  at  the  Old  Wharf  Rosario— Santa  Fe. 


54 


THERE  WAS  A  SHIP  QUOTH   HE." 

Coming  down  the  Plata  River  in  the  "Cisne" 
steamer  a  fellow  passenger  asked  us  to  help  him  when 
we  landed.  We  said  we  would.  Well,  it  was  very 
dark  and  raining;  we  landed  under  a  wharf,  arrange- 
ment on  the  other  side  of  which  was  a  ten-foot  steep 
and  slippery  mud-bank  on  top  of  which  were  one  or 
two  wheel  carts  made  with  a  pole  with  a  hole  in  the 
far  end.  The  carter  slips  a  rawhide  fast  to  his  horse's 
cinch,  through  the  pole  hole  and  makes  fast,  he  ( riding 
the  horse)  can  then  pull,  or  if  he  wants  to  back,  ride 
his  horse  around  the  pole  and  push  backwards.  To 
return  to  our  mutton,  what  our  man  wanted  was  help 
to  land  a  portmanteau  and  some  heavy  small  boxes 
and  we  got  them  into  a  cart  after  a  weary  time  sliding 
up  and  down  that  mud  bank  and  much  indifferent 
language.  One  native  rode  and  two  friends  kept  him 
company.  We  had  to  go  two  miles  over  a  wicked  road. 
The  tall  grass  grows  right  up  to  it  on  both  sides  and 
there  have  been  a  lot  of  unpleasant  things  happening ; 
so  we  had  our  guns  in  our  hands.  We  had  found  out 
that  our  friend  from  Paraguay,  one  of  his  prisoners 
Lopez  left  alive,  had  been  trading  and  the  boxes,  etc., 
were  full  of  gold,  and  silver  dollars.  Got  to  the  hotel 
all  right  and  had  a  drink.  There  was  a  funny  little 
old  man  with  hair  over  his  shoulders  and  white  beard 
to  his  middle  and  very  old  clothes.  He  looked  lonely 


55 


O'Geary. 


56 


so  we  asked  him  to  drink.  No,  he  did  not  drink.  Smoke? 
No ;  he  did  not  smoke  but  he  put  a  cigar  in  his  pocket. 
Felt  curious  about  him  and  asked  him  and  the  capitalist 
to  my  room,  also,  drink  and  cigars.  They  came 

and  oh,  yes !  I  had  struck  it  rich.  The  little  man  was 
I  think  doing  penance.  He  would  not  say  why  he  had 
tramped  hundreds  of  leagues  through  the  wildest  parts 
of  the  country  with  some  polenta  to  eat  and  no  arms 
except  a  small  pocket  knife,  or  why  he  had  not  cut 
hair  or  beard  for  seven  years ;  but  the  stories  those  men 
told  each  other,  myself  sitting  listening  till  4  a.m.  with 
hardly  a  word ;  and  they  could  have  gone  on  for  weeks. 
I  said  that  queer  things  happened  on  the  road  we  came 
here  by,  in  the  grass  that  borders  the  road  back  a 
little  way  are  adobe  huts  and  very  queer  people  live 
there.  Everyone  carries  a  knife  of  course  but  the  po- 
lice had  a  very  bad  character  for  a  time.  At  another 
men  riding  were  lassoed  from  the  grass  and  you  are 
gone  if  a  lasso  gets  you.  At  another  the  natives  did 
not  like  it  because  a  number  of  men  were  killed  one  by 
one  and  there  were  stories  of  a  ghost.  Soldiers  hunted 
and  some  of  us  went  out  many  nights.  At  last  some 
one  was  stabbed  but  before  he  died  shot  a  tall 
man  dressed  as  a  woman.  What  with  the  night,  tall 
grass  in  which  to  slip  out  of  sight,  and  dark  dress,  the 
ghost  theory  is  easy.  His  trick  had  been  to  ask  you 
for  the  time  or  for  a  light,  and  stab  you  as  you  got  it. 


57 


'Tramp,  Tramp,  Tramp,  the  Boys  Are  Marching." 


58 


For  some  time  after  if  one  was  asked  for  a  light  about 
there  after  dark,  one  threw  a  matchbox  and  said  help 
yourself. 

HEALTH  AND  APPETITE. 

Sitting  in  a  little  park  in  Los  Angeles  some  one  sat 
down  on  the  other  end  of  the  bench.  Seeing  a  dilap- 
idated pair  of  boots  that  did  not  match  I  went  on  read- 
ing. After  a  while  the  stillness  was  broken  by:  "Got 
ten  cents  pardner?" 

"What  do  you  want  ten  cents  for?"  said  I. 

"Well,  pardner,  I'm  here  from  Milwaukee,  was  in 
the  lumber  trade  there  and  got  six  dollars  a  day,  my 
brother  has  a  big  place  there ;  he  sent  me  some  money 
yesterday,  I  got  broke,  an'  I  went  on  a  tear  an'  spent 
it  all,  an'  my  mouth's  awful  dry  an'  I  want  a  drink." 
It  sounded  straight  so  we  had  a  talk  about  the  Keeley 
cure  about  which  I  told  him,  and  about  Florida  and 
lumber  about  which  he  told  me  and  compromised  on 
twenty-five  cents  of  which  he  agreed  to  spend  fifteen 
on  solid  food ;  hope  he  did. 


KNUCKLE-DUSTING. 

Coming  up  from  Aspinwall  to  New  York,  a  second- 
class  passenger  came  into  the  first-class  saloon  and  a 
big  steward  objected.  Man  did  not  like  it  and  when  the 
steward  swore  at  him,  he  struck  the  steward  (much  the 
biggest  man)  and  knocked  him  down;  the  steward 
said  the  man  used  a  knife;  no  one  had  seen  a  knife 


59 


The  Knuckle-duster. 


Callers! 


60 


but  over  the  Steward's  heart  was  a  little  tear  in  his 
white  duck.  Captain  took  a  hand,  and  steward,  who 
had  had  a  bad  record  was  put  in  irons.  Other  man 
turned  out  to  be  an  artist ;  had  been  through  Borneo — 
of  all  places — and  come  out  alive  with  a  wonderful 
lot  of  pictures  and  photographs  (burned  later).  Came 
into  my  cabin  as  he  wanted  to  copy  a  little  sketch  of 
Panama.  Showed  me  how  that  tear  happened ;  he 
used  a  knuckle-duster  that  was  in  his  pocket  when  he 
(the  steward)  came  at  him  the  second  time.  An  ugly 
thing;  iron  ring  with  holes  that  your  fingers  go 
through,  short  spikes  over  your  knuckles,  and  a  longer 
one  below  your  clenched  hand. 


WANDERERS. 

Making  a  fire  after  a  long  day  in  the  boat  and  not 
thinking  there  was  anyone  else  for  miles ;  rather  there 
was  not,  as  the  nearest  place  is  the  line  between  two 
states  where  a  number  of  "bad  men"  have  settled. 
When  the  soldiers  from  one  state  come  for  any  of  them 
(if  they  ever  do)  the  men  can  step  over  the  line.  Well, 
we  were  getting  wood  and  one  of  us  came  out  of  the 
night  with  a  fellow  walking  behind,  knife  in  hand 
(such  a  foolish  thing;  why  not  in  front?)  A  canoe 
slid  out  of  the  fog  with  two  muffled  women  astern,  and 
three  more  men  who  got  out  and  stood  round  the  fire. 
As  they  had  their  knives  out,  one  of  us  left  fishing  in 
the  boat  and  passed  guns  round  to  our  side.  Then  we 
talked  and  ate.  They  were  very  free  and  easy  villians 


61 


Nineteen    Miles    to    Go   Across    Camp   and    "The   Day   is 

Departing,  de-par-ar-ting." 


62 


but  went  off  into  the  fog  again  all  right.    After  keeping 
watch  awhile  we  went  to  sleep. 

"THE  WEARY  PLOUGHBOY." 

"The  weary  ploughboy  homeward  bound,"  and  not 
knowing  one  day  from  another  here  we  were  plough- 
ing with  bullocks  when  a  man  riding  by  said: 
"Thought  you  English  did  not  work  Sundays."  My 
brother  was  wild;  he  threw  the  ear  ropes  down  and 
wanted  to  know  "If  he'd  lived  all  these  years  and  trav- 
eled all  these  miles  to  plough  Sundays  with  adjectived 
bullocks  in  a  condemned  country!"  Bullocks  are  try- 
ing. The  Reverend — looking  out  of  the  train  at  Frayle 
Muerto  saw  an  Englishman  swearing  wonderfully  at 
his  bullocks.  The  Reverend  told  him  to  be  gentle; 
the  man  being  angry  threw  his  ropes  down,  telling  the 
Reverend  to  take  them  around  himself.  The  Reverend 
did  so ;  and  it  is  said  that  by  the  time  he  got  around — 
well  you  can  guess.  We  got  a  little  two-wheeled  cart 
and  with  a  broncho  not  used  to  driving.  Some  one  be- 
hind him  with  his  leather  belt  and  buckle ;  and  a  peon 
on  a  horse  in  front  to  pull  him  along,  and  so  across 
camp  to  a  railway  and  my  brother  went  back  to  Eng- 
land. The  rest  of  the  outfit  got  home  somehow. 

A  QUARREL— CANDELARIA. 

Swede  playing  billiards  with  an  Italian  in  a  cafe 
full  of  Italians;  they  quarrelled  and  the  Swede  used 
his  cue  and  the  Italian  a  small  knife,  as  the  manager 
came  in  the  Swede  went  down  and  some  men  bolted. 


63 


Bringing  in  Ruffinelli. 


Our  Last  Night  on  the  "Plata". 


64 


Manager  locked  the  doors  with  thirty  or  forty  in- 
side but  the  man  had  gone.  Three  of  us  went  through 
houses  where  men  were  sleeping  and  then  a  mile  into 
camp  to  a  house  where  two  Italians  and  a  big  dog 
lived ;  knocked ;  man  appeared  behind  dog  in  doorway. 
H  told  him  to  call  off  his  dog;  would  not;  so  H  shot 
the  dog  and  we  went  in.  Found  Ruffinelli  in  bed,  pre- 
tending sleep ;  shirt  covered  with  blood  and  head  tied 
up ;  not  pretty  to  look  at.  Put  him  on  a  horse  and 
tied  his  feet  together,  brought  him  to  the  only  brick 
building  in  town.  Some  got  on  top  of  it  with  guns 
while  the  manager  did  sentry ;  there  are  hundreds  of 
Italians  here.  A  stage  starts  for  town  at  8  A.  M.  and 
the  manager  suggested  that  if  there  were  no  passen- 
gers the  stage  should  take  the  man  in  now  before  the 
other  gentlemen  woke  up,  and  we  could  go  to  bed.  It 
was  done,  and  Ruffinelli  went  off  and  later  got  seven 
years  on  the  frontier. 

FIRE   AGAIN. 

A  cold  night  on  this  big  river  though  we  are  get- 
ting south  now  after  our  thousand  miles  in  our  little 
boat;  so  we  got  ashore  and  supped  on  grebe  which  re- 
minded one  of  red  herrings.  Found  a  little  grass  hut 
built  by  a  woodcutter  possibly,  and  three  of  us  snuggled 
up  on  the  floor,  just  big  enough,  with  a  candle  and 
part  of  a  book.  Heaven  knows  where  the  man  got 
it.  Well,  we  went  to  sleep  and  the  bookman  knocked 


65 


A  Dismal  Swamp — Hundreds  of  Miles  of  It. 
Ye  Gran  Chaco. 


Shipwrecked. 


66 


the  candle  over  and  the  fire  ran  up  the  hut  luckily  one 
of  us  woke  and  put  it  out  and  the  others  never  knew 
and  told  the  fireman  next  noon  that  "he  had  been 
dreaming";  is  so,  why  that  black  streak?  Another 
morning  we  found  a  big  jaguar  and  cub  had  passed  a 
yard  from  A's  head.  They  were  grunting  all  night 
close  to  us  in  the  jungle,  and  could  not  have  been 
hungry  as  there  were  five  of  us  to  choose  from.  Got 
aboard  and  got  lost  on  the  Chaco  side  of  the  river. 
This  gran  Chaco  is  an  endless  maze  of  creeks  and  little 
islands  covered  with  trees  and  jungle,  no  birds  or 
beasts  seemingly  and  the  fish  won't  bite  often.  There 
are  some  hostile  Indians  but  the  chances  are  greatly 
in  favor  of  starving  to  death,  a  desolate  place  but  the 
wind  brought  us  to  the  river  again  and  when  the  cox 
wanted  to  go  about,  it  blew  so  fresh  that  mast  and  big 
lateen  sail  went.  Two  of  us  jumped  and  held  on  to  it 
but  it  was  hard  on  finger  nails  and  as  there  was  quite 
a  little  sea  our  small  boat  was  tumbling  about.  We  all 
had  our  trousers  rolled  up  to  our  knees  except  Maria, 
who  was  a  Paraguayan  woman  and  wife  of  Salvador, 
a  Portuguese,  who  we  called  Joe.  Fortunately  there 
was  a  little  island  on  to  which  we  drifted.  Maria  was 
frightened  and  knelt  down  a  few  yards  off,  with  her 
skirt  over  her  head,  for  five  minutes,  like  an  image. 
Then  she  rose  up  and  said :  "It  is  a  bad  wind ;  we  shall 
not  get  to  Rosario  alive,"  and  set  to  work  like  a  little 


67 


V. 


A  Lonely  Skeleton. 


68 


man.  We  fixed  our  mast  up  with  fish  lines  and  what- 
ever we  had.  Drifting  again  on  the  Chaco  side  where 
the  jungle  is  not  as  thick  as  on  the  other,  with  more 
trees.  We  ran  in  to  look  at  what  turns  out  to  be  boughs 
bent  over  in  a  half-circle,  once  a  tiny  hut  four  feet 
high.  Now  the  thatch  is  gone  and  there  is  two  or 
three  inches  of  water  and  rotten  leaves,  sitting  in 
which  and  leaning  against  the  boughs  is  a  skeleton  and 
a  worm-eaten  flint  lock  musket  alongside,  the  skull 
has  rolled  or  been  blown  off  and  lies  there.  What  a 
death!  miles  of  dark  silent  forest  behind,  in  front  the 
immense  river,  the  wash  of  which  is  the  only  sound. 
Poor  devil,  wonder  who  it  was  once !  We  left  it  sitting 
there  and  I  do  not  suppose  anyone  will  come  across  it 
again. 


TWO  FALLS  AND  A  COW. 

Chasing  a  little  cow  bareback  and  riding  loosely 
she  made  a  quick  turn  and  the  mare  stuck  to  her  just 
where  we  had  worn  a  track  bringing  the  adobes  for 
houses.  Man's  head  struck  the  track  and  a  native 
woman  carried  the  remains  into  a  house  and  doctored 
him.  Another  time,  sitting  on  a  blanket  strapped 
around  a  tall  black  beast  with  a  back  like  the  roof  of 
a  church,  and  leading  a  mare,  dogs  came  and  scared 
the  mare,  man  held  but  the  rope  was  only  around  the 
mare's  neck  and,  as  she  was  faster  than  the  horse,  man 
was  pulled  forward  over  the  horse's  head,  one  hand 
full  of  reins,  revolver,  and  mane,  the  other  of  the  mare. 


69 


The  Mare  Wins  Easy. 


El  Hombre  6  la  Vaca. 


70 


Strap  round  the  blanket  loosened  and  away  went  man 
onto  his  back.  Mare  dragged  him  fifty  yards  over 
burned  camp  and  the  skin  came  off  his  arms  and  the 
black  stuff  rubbed  in.  Took  some  time  to  heal  and 
he  could  not  get  up  for  a  while  because  he  thought  his 
back  was  broke ;  also  he  had  to  swear  at  the  dog  own- 
ers when  they  ran  up.  One  day,  as  we  stood  about 
among  some  piles  of  brick,  a  cow  stood  pawing  the  dust 
up  near,  suddenly  she  charged  and  all  got  on  brick 
piles  except  one  who  thought  it  was  all  right  because 
he  was  behind  a  heap ;  but  the  cow  turned  round  the 
corner  and  came  at  him  head  down  and  tail  up.  Now 
would  you  think  that  that  man  stood  perfectly  still 
and  watched  the  cow's  shoulder  wondering  if  he  had 
a  sword  whether  he  could  hit  the  right  spot?  We  had 
been  seeing  a  good  many  bull  fights  lately.  Anyway 
when  he  jumped  to  one  side  he  did  it  mechanically  and 
the  cow's  horn  tore  his  coat.  She  kept  straight  on 
though. 


REAL  GHOSTS. 

Did  you  ever  keep  house  for  friends  gone  away? 
If  you  have  not,  don't  do  it,  the  place  is  full  of  ghosts 
of  live  people,  this  is  quite  unfair.  No  well  conducted 
live  person  should  have  a  ghost ;  but  there  they  are,  and 
their  feet  go  hither  and  thither  making  no  sound,  and 


71 


Real  Ghosts. 


72 


their  mouths  eat  at  meals  though  the  food  never  gets 
less,  and  they  talk  to  you  and  to  each  other.  You 
know  what  they  say  though  there  is  no  sound,  and  you 
get  no  answer  if  you  speak  to  them.  One  does  not 
really  object  to  it;  they  are  just  like  the  live  people 
in  a  way ;  they  have  exactly  the  same  ways  as  the  peo- 
ple they  seem  to  be.  They  seem  to  hear  your  remarks 
and  pass  them  by ;  often  I  fancy  you  are  like  a  ghost  to 
them,  but  one  is  not  sure  because  if  so  why  do  they 
listen  to  you  ?  Still,  as  I  said,  one  does  talk  to  them — 
but  they  don't  answer.  Do  they  expect  you  to  reply 
to  them ;  mine  don't.  In  the  open  air,  gardening  or 
filling  up  time  someway,  they  are  not  with  one  so 
much ;  it  is  at  meals  mostly.  What  becomes  of  them 
later.  When  you  come  into  the  place  at  night  the 
stillness  is  wonderful  either  in  the  black  darkness  or 
with  the  bright  moonlight  shadowing  everywhere  with 
wraiths  of  boughs  and  plants ;  but  one  misses  the 
ghosts ;  there  is  only  an  open  grave ;  there's  nothing  in 
it. 


ON  THE  SAN  RAFAEL  RANCH. 

Once  on  a  time  there  was  a  ranch  with  a  church  on 
it  amongst  other  things.  There  was  also  a  winery,  and 
a  man  for  whom  the  manager  tried  to  find  work  that 
he  could  do,  having  got  down  to  weeding  which  was 


73 


The  Day  of  Rest. 


jWTfyfi-tihi 
n/v-  .•K.  *fy/  ZfC/S 


Saionara. 


74 


not  a  success,  he  gave  him  the  winemaker's  shanty  in 
which  to  sleep  close  to  the  winery  which  he  was  to  see 
was  safe ;  and  Sundays  he  was  to  sweep  the  church 
by  1 1  o'clock.  The  manager  had  been  doing  this  when 
he  took  the  flowers  down  formerly,  coming  down  the 
first  Sunday  that  the  man  was  to  have  done  it,  it  was 
not  done ;  so  after  getting  the  church  ready,  the  man- 
ager drove  to  the  winery  and  found  the  door  forced, 
shouted  down  a  trap  door  and  the  man  appeared  from 
below,  saying  that  four  men  with  clubs  had  broken  in ; 

he  watched  them  from  his  window  being  afraid  to  in- 
terfere ;  but  there  were  four  empty  wine  bottles  in  his 
room,  he  was  told  to  pack.  As  he  was  sulky  and 
wanted  to  argue  with  a  club  full  of  nails  to  help  him, 
he  was  put  on  the  floor  and  his  head  bumped  till  he  was 
reasonable;  the  blacksmith  put  his  head  in  and  re- 
quested that  the  man  should  not  be  killed.  Manager 
said  he  was  not  worth  it  and  sent  blacksmith  off  to 
put  him  on  the  cars.  Had  smith  fix  the  winery  door 
again,  after  which  they  went  to  church  just  in  time  to 
meet  the  clergyman  from  town.  A  very  pretty  little 
church,  built  in  memory  of  her  husband  who  owned  the 
ranch  on  the  road  to  the  village  (one  hundred  and 
ranch,  by  his  widow.  There  is  a  long  tunnel  on  this 
thirty  yards  long)  made  by  the  last  owner  trying  for 
coal.  When  he  did  not  find  coal,  he  made  a  road  of 


75 


"Went  down  the  hill  without  the  drag  on, 

Poor  Mary  Ann. 

Mother  she  waxed  her,  petted  her  and  kissed  her, 
Docter  he  came  and  he  put  on  a  blister, 
If  she'd  a'  died  we'd  never  a'  missed  her; 

Poor  Mary  Ann." 


Man  in  a  Slough. 


76 


the  tunnel,  and  a  big  reservoir  by  banking  at  one  end, 
fifty  feet  of  this  embankment  washed  out  in  our  big 
flood  year  (ground  squirrels  had  been  working  in  it) 
and  swept  a  railroad  bridge  away  further  down.  We 
come  through  nights  without  a  light  often  and  feel  our 
way  along  the  sides  with  the  whip,  as  dark  a  place  as  I 
ever  was  in,  and  there  is  not  above  eighteen  inches  to 
spare,  each  side  your  wheels.  Corning  out  at  one  end 
there  is  a  long  downhill  and  once  on  a  wagon  with  no 
break  or  foot  board.  Sitting  on  top  of  a  load  of  wheat 
the  wagon  ran  onto  the  four  horses  and  away  we  went, 
the  driver  swung  the  horses  off  the  road  onto  the 
plough  to  the  mountains,  the  only  way  to  save  a  smash ; 
but  as  he  swung,  the  rope  loosened  with  the  jerk  and 
landed  the  sack  he  sat  on  and  him  on  his  back  in 
the  road,  close  to  the  wheel,  luckily  turning  from  him. 
He  threw  up  the  reins,  the  plough,  etc.,  stopped  the 
horses  and  another  man  and  he  having  sorted  them 
out,  got  a  better  wagon.  That  is  enough  about  ranch- 
ing. 

EXPRESS  CHARGES. 

In  the  pineries  (Illinois),  where  there  was  shoot- 
ing, a  man  got  lost,  they  are  twelve  miles  through  tim- 
ber, ridges,  and  sloughs  covered  with  green  moss  that 
closes  over  you  if  you  don't  mind  your  ways.  This 
man  luckily  came  across  a  solitary  railroad  track  and  as 


77 


Express  Charges— Pittsburg  &  Fort  Wayne  R.  R. 


F.  P.  Long  Stop. 


78 


he  had  been  out  a  good  while  and  was  seven  miles  from 
home  he  sat  down  to  smoke  and  think  about  things. 
Then  the  handcar  came  along,  three  men;  so  the 
shootster,  who  knew  many  of  the  men,  got  on  and 
worked  his  passage  leaving  his  spaniel,  Dash,  to  run. 
We  came  along,  talking  and  singing,  till  we  came  to  the 
quarter  mile  long  trestle  bridge  over  the  Calumet  and 
swamps.  Here  an  express  turned  up  behind  us  and 
we  started  to  work ;  oh,  yes ;  we  worked  with  that 
beast  of  a  train  getting  closer.  We  could  not  stop  to 
get  off  the  track,  but  we  got  to  the  little  station  and  a 
man  at  the  switch  had  time  to  let  us  off  while  the  ex- 
press thundered  by.  Whether  they  saw  us  or  not  we 
never  knew ;  if  they  did  it  was  a  cruel  game  to  play  and 
when  we  got  in  we  sat  on  a  woodpile  and  felt  queer. 
My  dog  turned  up  half  an  hour  later;  the  pace  was 
too  good  for  him  at  first.  The  undergrowth  is  so 
thick  in  those  woods  that  you  cannot  see  any  distance. 
It  was  here  two  brothers,  shooting  forward,  and 
whistling  to  know  where  each  other  was  came  to  the 
edge  of  the  tall  trees.  A  woodcock  got  up  and  shot 
off  through  the  brush  down  this  edge.  One  man  shot 
it  and,  looking  beyond  as  he  loaded,  saw  something  he 
could  not  make  out.  It  turned  out  to  be  his  brother's 
head. 

"What  are  you  waiting  for?"  said  No.  1. 

"The  rest  of  the  charge,"  said  he,  "you've  shot  me." 


79 


"Roll  Dat  Cotton." 


80 


"Oh,  shot  your  grandmother,"  said  No.  1.  But  all 
the  same  there  was  one  little  spot  of  blood  on  his  left 
cheekbone  and  I  could  feel  the  shot  which  he  never 
would  take  out  though  I  wanted  to;  it  was  my  shot 
anyway. 


COTTON  PACKING. 

In  Shanghai  it  was  against  the  law  to  pack  cotton 
at  night  but  it  was  done,  one  night,  in  a  big  go-down, 
a  lot  of  Chinese  on  a  platform  ten  feet  above  the  floor 
were  running  round  a  capstan  as  if  getting  up  anchor, 
only  their  thing  works  downwards,  around,  around  to 
their  eternal  chant  of  ha  ho,  ha,  hao  o  ha.  Two  fell 
over  the  edge.  Now  there  were  pigs  of  lead  piled  up 
below  and  their  skulls  cracked  like  eggs.  The  other 
fellows  did  not  seem  to  care  much  and  in  the  morning 
carried  the  bodies  off  in  their  ropes  and  probably  threw 
them  in  the  weeds  a  little  way  outside  town.  On  the 
Bubbling  Well  road  (so  called  because  there  is  a  well 
that  always  has  a  bubble  coming  up  from  the  bottom), 
it  used  to  be  horrible  sometimes  in  one's  early  morning 
ride.  They  are  rather  an  awful  people,  and  there  are 
razor-backed  hogs  that  roam  around. 


82 


Acapulco  is  a  queer  little  place,  mostly  heat,  blacks, 
shell  work,  sharks,  etc.  There  are  immense  sharks 
(about  sixteen  feet).  They  won't  look  at  pork  with 
or  without  a  hook  in  it.  What  do  they  eat.  Must 
be  mostly  the  stuff  thrown  from  ships.  Some  say  that 
they  run  up  into  the  surf  and  catch  the  little  darkies 
by  the  legs.  Anyway  they  are  big  and  fat  and  there 
are  lots  of  them. 

A  war  with  the  French  is  about  to  begin  and  the 
ships  are  expected  but  have  not  come ;  so  we  can't 
land  some  French  officers  who  are  here  to  join  their 
ships — not  good  for  them  ashore  just  now. 

We  were  round,  look,  see  business,  and  there  was 
a  fuss,  and  a  fellow  shot  and  missed ;  but  the  bullet  got 
my  leg.  Curious  it  did  not  sting  but  was  more  like  a 
blow ;  did  not  break  anything  though.  The  native  imi- 
tations of  flowers  (shell  work)  are  very  pretty  and 
there  is  lots  of  coral,  etc.  Only  a  small  place  and  not 
much  clothing.  An  old  fort  at  the  entrance  with 
mouldy  cannon,  harbor  to  get  into  which  one  goes  up 
a  passage  that  is  parallel  to  the  coast.  You  can't  see 
anyway  in  when  you  are  out,  or  out  when  you  are  in, 
is  like  a  big  pond  with  a  grove  of  cocoanuts  on  the 

far  side  from  the  village  but  no  other  trees  except 
a  palm  or  two,  the  colors  of  the  mountains  are  fine,  and 
the  young  fry  dive  any  distance  after  money  thrown  to 
them,  as  they  do  at  all  these  places,  carry  it  in  their 
mouths,  their  only  pocket.  Principal  industries,  when 


83 


Coaling — Rio  Janeiro. 


Man  Overboard — Bay  of  Biscay. 


84 


there  is  no  ship  to  coal,  lying  in  (and  out  of)  the  sun 
and  drinking;  as  some  one  said:  "Customs  beastly 
manners  none." 


MAN  OVERBOARD. 

Aboard  a  ship  where  there  were  a  lot  of  young  men 
passengers,  and  jumping  back  and  forth  over  open 
hatches,  diving  from  the  yardarm,  catching  sharks, 
and  revolver  practice  at  men-of-war  hawks,  molly 
hawks,  cape  pigeons,  catching  albatross  with  a  hook 
and  line,  etc.,  were  among  the  amusements,  some  of  us 
met  at  about  11A.M.  to  breakfast  in  a  cabin  the  owner 
of  which  had  a  hamper  of  cakes  and  two  boxes  of  Par- 
taga  and  Regalia  Brittanica  cigars,  these  men  amongst 
whom  were  a  T —  and  two  M's —  had  been  brought  up 
on  civilized  things  so  the  unfortunate  owner's  cigars 
went  fast.  One  of  us  poor  fellows  was  too  fond  of 
drinks  and  other  things  and  had  no  business  to  have 
come  as  he  soon  got  d.t's.  and  was  shut  up  in  his  cabin 
with  a  sentry.  Some  way  he  got  out,  ran  the  length  of 
the  saloon,  and  dived  through  the  big  stern  window, 
through  the  glass,  bending  the  guard  rods  right  and 
left.  A  man  standing  by  the  wheel  on  deck  above, 
looking  aft,  saw  the  head  and  arms  of  a  man  rise  on 
the  top  of  a  following  wave,  shouted  "man  overboard", 


85 


Act  I.— The  Great 
Baldearing  Trick. 


Act  II. 


86 


and  threw  a  preserver.  The  captain  was  very  good 
and  we  went  astern  for  an  hour  or  more  which  was 
dangerous  with  the  sea  that  was  running;  had  a  boat 
out  too.  Then  we  picked  up  the  boat  and  went  ahead 
and  he  floated  alongside  near  where  he  went  over- 
board. They  tried  everything,  though  he  had  already 
been  a  little  eaten  by  fish.  Several  of  our  crowd  on  this 
ship  could  not  stand  the  new  life  after  landing.  H 
shot  himself.  W  shut  himself  up  with  brandy  and 
drank  till  he  died;  and  so  on. 


"THE  OLD  OAKEN  BUCKET." 

If  you  do  not  know  what  baldearing  is  and  are 
short  of  amusement,  tie  the  end  of  a  well  rope  to  your 
cinch  and  then  walk  your  horse  away  eighty  feet  or 
so  till  your  bucket  comes  up  full,  if  you  like  to  and 
have  a  trough  along  side,  arrange  it  so  that  bucket 
catches  and  tilts  at  the  top  so  as  to  let  the  water  into 
the  trough,  or  'trofF  as  I  suppose  it  will  be  spelled  later. 
Then  walk  your  horse  back  and  down  goes  your  bucket. 
The  first  time  one  man  tried,  as  he  turned  he  let  the 
rope  touch  the  horse  and  this  horse  did  not  approve. 
It  whirled  around  a  few  times,  tied  himself  up  in  a  knot, 
and  over  they  went.  Horse  up  again  some  way  and 
got  to  the  end  of  his  rope  in  a  hurry.  The  two  brick 
pillars  of  the  well  (the  pride  of  the  man's  heart) 
crumbled  away  and  off  went  that  animal  with  eighty 


87 


The  Tale  of  Grouse. 


foot  or  so  of  suga,  the  bucket,  and  the  cross  beam,  into 
a  drove  of  mares  which  stampeded  all  over  the  world. 
Don't  know  what  became  of  the  mares  but  we  got  the 
horse  fifty  miles  from  home  next  day.  He  was  a  good 
beast  but  nervous  about  ropes  apparently.  It  is  better 
to  have  a  quieter  gee  for  baldearing. 

A  DOG'S  TALE. 

Lx,  who  was  one  of  the  Prince  of  Wales  shooting 
party  around  about  Chicago  (F.  W.  was  there  also), 
had  one  of  the  dogs  they  shot  over  with  him.  He  was 
a  liver  colored  pointer  named  Grouse,  and  one  of  the 
most  cantankerous  beasts  in  temper  I  ever  saw.  Once 
he  growled  at  Mark  (A  No.  1  bullterrier  owned  by  my 
brother).  Mark  was  the  quietest  dog  unless  he  was 
bothered.  He  went  for  Grouse  who  jumped  away  so 
quickly  that  Mark  only  reached  his  tail.  It  healed  all 
right  but  left  a  lump  and  we  thought  L —  would  be 
wild  when  he  returned.  However,  he  was  not,  but 
thanked  Frank,  as  he  said  Grouse  bit  when  he  was 
threshed  and  L  used  to  hold  him  by  the  tail  and  when 
he  turned  to  bite  hit  him  with  one  of  those  short  knot- 
ted dog  whips ;  then  Grouse  would  try  the  other  side 
and  get  straightened  out  again.  So  L  was  obliged ; 
as  he  said  he  never  could  hold  him  before  as  he  could 
now  from  behind.  This  is  a  true  dog  story.  L  was  the 
man  who  always  shot  at  an  Indian. 

ARDEN. 

Leaving  el  Toro  after  about  a  ten  mile  drive  over 
two  ranges  of  small  mountains,  through  wild  flowers, 


89 


grain,  cotton  wood,  and  live  oak  trees  and  by  a  creek, 
a  fine  drive  but  not  for  wild  horses,  you  wind  past  the 
home  farm  and  turn  sharply  to  your  right  over  a  bridge 

with  a  swing  gate,  to  find  yourself  suddenly  amongst 
big  lawns  and  live  oaks,  great  beds  of  roses  and  flow- 
ers, shrubbery,  and  a  little  lake  and  glass  houses.  At 
the  back  of  this  eight  acres  or  more  is  a  natural  terrace 
one  hundred  feet  high,  covered  with  live  oaks,  ger- 
aniums, creepers,  etc.,  and  up  which  goes  a  flight  of 
steps  to  the  orange  orchard  at  the  top.  Back  of  this  on 
the  mountains,  they  are  all  round.  At  the  foot  of  this 
terrace  stands  the  house,  a  long  rambling  collection 
of  rooms,  porches,  entrances,  open-air  dining-room, 
etc.,  very  prettyly  built  to  harmonize  with  the  scenery. 
From  the  inside  one  looks  out  into  a  green  sea  of  a 
dozen  different  shades  of  green ;  inside  it  is  a  perfect 
place,  everything  one  can  want  from  madame  down  to 
cocktails  at  which  Mr.  B.  is  a  pastmaster.  Pictures, 
music,  books,  and  most  of  them  with  histories.  The 
rides  and  walks  up  the  canyon  are  beautiful,  the  one 
that  goes  on  past  the  house  winds  through  the  moun- 
tains and  across  and  across  the  creek,  ferns  and  flowers 
are  all  about  and  one  passes  two  little  cabins,  in  the 
furthest  of  which  they  lived  when  they  first  came  out, 
there  are  stories  of  a  bear  that  comes  here  but  we  don't 
see  anything  of  him — there  are  live  stock,  olives, 
oranges,  etc.,  and  bees,  on  the  ranch.  Friends  are 


90 


Oi 
oo 


CD 


always  coming  and  going,  carriages  meeting  the  train 
at  el  Toro  twice  a  week  for  friends,  and  so  many  vis- 
itors (and  uninvited  guests)  come  that  there  has  been  a 
well  sunk  and  grounds  made  for  picnic  parties  about  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  from  the  house.  "Arden"  is  its  name 
and  madame  played  Rosalind  on  the  lawn  once,  where 
the  hammocks  and  tables  for  afternoon  tea,  etc.,  are,, 
one  forgets  that  there  is  any  world  outside  here,  why 
should  you  remember  when  there  is  all  you  want,  and 
nothing  to  remind  you?  There  are  papers  of  course 
if  you  can't  let  them  alone.  "The  world  forgotten,  by 
the  world  forgot",  is  something  like  it  but  not  nice 
enough,  and  we  do  a  little  honey  business  and  get 
stung  enough  to  see  what  it  is  like,  and  sometimes 
garden  with  musical  interludes  and  play  whist  and 
poker,  and  fight  about  gardening  or  cards,  or  whether 
dried  currants  are  currants,  and  make  cigarettes  with 
crafty  little  machines,  and  go  walks  and  get  flowers 
sometimes  drive  or  ride  or  shoot  or  fish,  or  watch  R 
making  a  contraption  for  pumping  water  out  of  the 
lake,  or  go  up  to  where  a  40- foot  high  dam  is  starting 
across  a  road  where  the  rocks  nearly  meet,  this  will 
make  a  big  lake,  more  water,  fish  and  boating,  you 
don't  know  how  the  days  go  till  you  are  away — then 
you  know. 


Los  Angeles,  October  14,  1897. 

Well,  beginning  on  the  left  is  the  little  house  Mr. 
B  and  Madame  went  to  stay,  but  when  she  was  getting 
better  last  time,  they  said  it  was  dryer  than  her  own 
room — next  that  is  an  enclosed  yard  with  a  store  room 
at  the  back  and  over  it  a  room  where  her  theatrical 


91 


Weeding. 


1900— Beginning  of  the 


92 


dresses  are  kept,  the  little  house  right  off  that  is  the 
house  girls  rooms,  in  front  of  the  last  is  a  bed  of  car- 
nations and  where  the  two  girls  are  is  the  open  air 
dining  room,  next  that  is  the  indoor  dining  room, 

kitchen  behind,  then  Nashtia's  room  with  a  rustic  well 
in  front,  part  of  dining  room  behind  and  part  of  kitchen 
and  big  pantry  behind  that — then  an  entrance  and  little 
hall  behind  which  is  my  room  as  they  call  it  and  bath- 
room beyond — then  Mr.  Bozentas'  study,  hall  behind 
and  then  the  room  with  the  church  windows  (the  odd 
window  is  a  seat  of  Madames)  this  a  very  large  room 
and  goes  the  whole  depth  of  the  house  and  up  to  the 
rafters  with  a  big  granite  fireplace  and  no  end  of  pretty 
things  in  it.  I  suppose  you  would  call  it  a  drawing 
room — then  there  is  a  spare  bedroom,  hall  and  another 
bedroom  at  the  back,  then  an  entrance  with  a  bathroom 
beyond  the  hall — then  Mr.  B's  room  with  Madame's  at 
the  back  and  these  open  onto  a  wide  deep  porch  with 
Japanese  screens  and  trellis  and  creepers  which  is  the 
end — the  kitchen  garden  is  beyond  the  shrubbery  to  the 
left  and  that  lawn  runs  to  the  right  ever  such  a  way 
to  the  farmyard  entrance — at  the  back  is  a  deep  hill 
50  yards,  high  or  more  covered  with  live  oak,  gerani- 
ums, wild  grasses  and  so  on — on  top  there  is  an 
orange  and  olive  orchard — in  front  excepting  drives  it 
is  all  garden  and  shruberry  to  a  creek  with  a  swing 
gate,  I  dare  say  there  are  8  or  10  acres,  all  this  and  a 
small  valley  are  shut  in  by  high  mountains  and  you 
exist  in  a  sort  of  green  sea.  That  is  Madame  by  her 
porch,  the  girls  on  the  right  were  Misses  Langenberger, 
Yorke  and  Easton.  I  am  doing  roses  on  the  well,  An- 
nie and  Maggie  are  in  the  open  dining  room,  Nashtia 
is  by  the  little  house,  Mr.  B  is  talking  to  Johnny,  left 
front,  Sam  is  watering  with  his  small  and  faithful 
Bobilo  dog  near  him,  the  other  dog  is  a  big  hound 
named  Rock.  If  you  keep  this  till  you  get  the  sketch 
perhaps  you  can  make  it  out. 


93 


Let  Go! 


They're  Off! 


94 


HORSES. 

"A  horse,  a  horse,  my  kingdom  for  a  horse.* 

One  man  who  was  nervous  wanted  to  drive  forty 
miles  across  camp  to  Rosario,  Santa  Fe,  and  one  of 
us  who  was  not  nervous  said  he  would  drive  the  pair 
of  greys ;  one  had  been  in  harness  twice  and  the  other 
not  at  all ;  but  the  trap  and  harness  were  strong.  So 
when  the  driver  went  to  start  and  found  them  loading 
chains  and  ironware  in  case  there  was  a  runaway,  he 
had  it  out  again;  there  are  no  fences  or  ditches  and 
all  there  was  to  do  if  they  did  runaway  was  to  head 
for  Rosario,  they  did,  after  trying  if  they  could  fly, 
horses  buck  here  more  than  they  kick,  and  when  they 
wanted  to  stop  the  driver  prevailed  on  them  with  a 
whip  to  keep  on  till  one  tried  to  fall  down  and 
nearly  pulled  him  over  the  dashboard,  but  they  got 
to  town.  Talking  of  bucking;  we  have  some  prize- 
takers.  We  all  tried  one  and  no  one  could  stay  on. 
Sometimes  a  piece  of  wood  is  used  which  you  tie 
in  front  and  push  your  knees  under,  or  a  blanket 

rolled  up  helps.  Another,  a  beautiful  labuno,  was 
brought  for  me  one  day,  the  Senora  who  knew  the 

horse,  asked  if  I  was  a  domador  which  I  am  not  at 
all,  she  said  "better  not  get  on"  and  next  day  I  knew 
she  was  right.  Our  best  rider  was  going  to  try  but 
the  horse  went  around  in  circles  at  the  end  of  a  lasso, 
bucking  like  an  airy  fiend,  everything  flying  till  he 
broke  away  and  no  one  got  near  him  for  hours,  then 
he  was  captured  with  bolas,  all  this  is  different  from 
hunting  or  riding  races,  the  horse  seems  to  express 
his  opinions  more  freely  and  forcibly  here,  and  one 


95 


Russian  Consul  Going  for  the 
Grand  Stand — Shanghai. 


Get  on  Ferguson.' 


One  on  the  Wall. 


A  Bad  'un  to  Mount. 


'*%  Jk*?£3?^'  'v v-"-".,>?£-<,: r&j*^£6^&/m 

&&&*&$^££&ji&, ^^W'- '   ^ ^?-Br 

^^^^^^iSi^S^B^^l-^s^^ 


Steeple. 


v;v/--. 
--/.'- 


Lloyd's  "Grumpier"  on  Miss  Louise. 


Flat. 


96 


wants  a  special  education.  In  Australia  I  know  there 
is  plenty  of  bucking,  but  I  never  was  there,  we  had 
some  horses  from  there  in  China,  one  of  them  (F — s) 
bucked  his  saddle  over  his  head  and  never  broke  the 
girths.  I  did  not  see  this  but  it  is  true.  Another  fell 
in  a  race  and  would  not  get  up  although  fire-crackers 
were  let  off  among  his  legs ;  then  they  tied  a  chain  to 
him  and  dragged  him  away.  Don't  know  if  he  ever 
got  up.  One  Tartar  pony  I  knew  ran  away  with  a 
Consul  and  up  forty  steps  into  the  grand  stand,  an- 
other in  a  race  jumped  on  top  on  one  of  these  wide 
mud  walls,  and  as  he  had  his  fore  legs  one  side  and 
hind  legs  the  other  he  had  to  be  taken  off.  I  was  riding 
in  these  races  and  we  had  no  end  of  fun ;  last  a  week^ 
but  two  men  were  nearly  killed  and  one  horse  quite. 


SUDDEN  DEATH. 

In  Los  Angeles  on  Main  street  a  hack  drove  along 
and  one  man  directed  another's  attention  to  two  girls 
in  it.  They  were  very  pretty  but  like  many  others,  had 
their  faces  covered  with  white  powder,  these  were 
Mexicans.  They  drove  across  to  Rose  and  Ferguson's 
stable  (Rose  shot  himself  later)  and  then  down  Com- 
mercial street  and  Los  Angeles  street  to  a  hotel  with 
a  man  (I —  F)  they  picked  up  at  the  stables.  One  of 
the  first  two  men  was  passing  as  the  hack  stopped  and 
made  a  grab  for  the  girl,  who  got  out  first,  because  as 
the  man  put  his  foot  on  the  hack  step  to  $r*  out>  sne 


97 


The  End  of  Don  J-  -  F.   Front  of  White  House, 
Commercial  St.,  Los  Angeles. 


Man  coming  in  suddenly — "Now  I've  got  you." 
Man,  looking  up — "Oh  let  up,  don't  interrupt  this  game." 
First  man,  paralyzed,  walks  out  again  without  shooting. 

The  Good  Old  Days. 


98 


shot  him  in  the  eye  and  he  fell  forward  onto  the  side- 
walk dead.  She  only  said :  "He'll  never  fool  another 
girl"  and  was  going  to  shoot  again  but  changed  her 
mind  and  walked  off  with  her  sister  to  the  police  sta- 
tion to  give  herself  up.  She  was  tried ;  she  was  impu- 
dent and  said  she  would  shoot  anyone  that  said  any- 
thing about  her.  Some  fellows  took  her  bouquets ;  she 
got  no  punishment,  of  course,  and  the  day  she  was  free 
went  to  get  the  revolver  which  she  had  borrowed  she 
said.  B's  daughter  shot  at  a  man  on  Spring  street  near 
First  three  times  front  of  where  the  P.  O.  used  to 

be,  but  only  shot  a  bit  off  the  top  of  his  head.  He 
ought  to  have  been  killed ;  his  folks  had  money  though 
and  he  was  let  off.  I  was  summoned  as  a  witness  in 
this.  The  father  knew  me  but  I  knew  nothing  of  the 
affair.  I  got  mad  in  court  as  usual  and  Mr.  S.  W. 
let  me  go.  There  used  to  be  a  good  deal  of  shooting 
in  Los  Angeles  but  it  is  all  changed  now.  At  the 
same  corner  of  Commercial  Street  a  man  sat  at  an  up- 
stairs window  and  waited  till  the  man  he  wanted  went 
along  the  other  side ;  then  he  shot  him  with  a  shot  gun. 

M  and  I  used  to  go  down  Sonora  town  to 
Spanish  fandangos  and  things  where  there  was  often 
trouble.  Once  they  were  shooting  in  the  night  around 
the  adobes  and  a  policeman  fell  down  and  was  carried 
home  but  when  they  searched  they  found  the  ball  in 
his  clothes  and  he  was  not  hurt  a  bit. 

I  was  shot  in  the  Pico  house  and  S —  drove  me  to 
his  funeral,  next  week  I  was  at  S's  funeral ;  he  was  shot 
in  his  room. 


99 


'^^SZ^^^OT*  * 

One  Adobe — *Los  Angeles. 


\ 


^^'^y^^^w^K^f^f^i- 


'Empty  is  the  Cradle,  Baby's  Gone"— San  Rafael  Ranch. 


100 


.  .  .      •  .  • 

'    •  •     • 

«„• 


THIEVES. 

Staying  in  a  house  full  of  things  for  friends  who 
were  away  once  there  was  a  burglary.  I  never  knew 
till  a  day  or  two  after.  Well,  the  things  were  mostly 
recovered;  it  was  an  old  servant  and  his  partner  who 
did  it.  When  we  looked  around  there  was  an  outside 
adobe  store  room  that  would  not  open  and  a  locksmith 
said  that  the  door  was  not  locked.  After  some  gym- 
nastics we  found  through  an  extremely  dusty  window 
that  there  was  something  against  the  door.  The  crafty 
George  had  jammed  a  crowbar  into  the  floor  and  leaned 
it  against  the  door  so  that  when  shut  the  other  end  of 
the  bar  dropped  under  a  crosspiece  and  held  the  door 
like  a  rock.  Wonder  where  he  learned  that. 

One  night,  being  away  from  a  ranch  some  one 
went  into  my  bedroom  and  took  the  cash  box  (only 
$225  and  $50  was  mine  and  $15  A.  C.  J's).  There 
were  two  men  playing  chess  in  the  next  room  who  never 
went  to  see  what  was  going  on  though  all  the  dogs 
were  wild  the  men  say,  and  the  men's  quarters  are 
some  distance  away.  We  found  the  broken  box  on  the 
tennis  court,  house  table,  all  the  money,  but  $19  church 
money  in  an  envelope,  gone  of  course.  Never  knew 
who  did  it.  Another  time,  at  a  little  ranch  I  had  five 
miles  from  town,  I  used  to  walk  out  sometimes  at 
night.  Some  one  broke  in  one  night  as  I  found  the 


101 


California — Voices  of  the  Night. 


Pincher— All  That  Could  be  Seen,  or  Heard. 


102 


door  open  but  nothing  gone.  So  next  Sunday  I  left 
everything  just  the  same  and  came  out  after  dark  but 
earlier  and  lay  down  with  my  gun  just  opposite  the 
door,  at  twelve  whoever  it  was  came  (there  was  no 
house  near)  and  I  lay  trying  to  hear  what  they  said 
but  could  not.  They  came  to  the  door  and  then  that 
little  fknd  Pincher  (my  fox  terrier)  turned  up  from 
some  where  and  "raised  Cain" ;  they  left  and  I  followed 
a  little  way;  it  was  a  black  night;  struck  one  that 
searching  for  gentlemen  one  had  not  been  introduced 
to,  able  to  see  nothing  ahead  and  with  the  light  from 
the  open  door  in  one's  rear,  was  not  correct ;  so  I  went 
to  bed.  Next  morning  found  where  they  had  tied  their 
horses  in  the  willows  down  by  the  creek.  Mexicans 
from  the  mountains  probably.  Have  not  had  many 
robbery  games.  Father  went  down  once  long  ago  with 
a  sawed  off  shotgun  and  I  went  to  open  the  door.  I 
asked  him  after  "what  he  thought  about?"  and  he  said 

that  he  thought  he  should  spoil  a  new  carpet. 

Another  time  still  further  back,  when  so  small  that  I 
was  sleeping  in  his  room,  I  woke  him  to  see  the  shadow 
of  a  ladder  on  the  blind  in  London.  There  were  bur- 
glars, but  in  the  next  house.  He  caught  one  and  let 
him  go  and  the  grateful  ruffian  sent  him  a  paper  of 
written  rules  as  to  how  to  make  his  house  safe. 


103 


"Marshals  Them  the  Way  That  They  Should  Go?' 


\ 


mi  ni/4 1 UJ;     JP  *  iTK'lu  ur-TTdj^'^i  !»•]•; 


'Oh  Lie  Down  P. it's  All  Right." 


104 


BRIEF  AUTHORITY. 

Once  upon  a  time  a  man,  call  him  P.ol,  was  Mar- 
shal at  a  big  picnic  and  cavorted  around  in  a  gorgeous 
scarf,  riding  an  ancient  but  fiery  untamed  Mexican 
bronco,  bianco  I  mean,  which  had  lots  of  action,  par- 
ticularly forward.  This  man  had  been  yarning  with 
another,  call  mim  P.o2,  who  had  also  been  in  the  golden 
South  Americas  and  who,  being  in  that  frivolous  state 
of  mind,  often  found  in  travelers,  insisted  on  climbing 
up  behind  P.  ol  whenever  he  got  a  chance,  and  inciting 
the  bianco  till  the  action  became  worse  than  ever,  and 
the  three  nearly  got  seasick.  They  did  not  though, 
but  feasted  sumptiously  on  part  of  a  whole  bullock 
barbecued,  which  was  so  good  that  they  wished  they 
had  known  him  when  alive;  might  have  been  better 
men.  Picnic  was  a  success  but  P.  o2  was  not  satisfied 
with  one  day,  and  carried  on  till  a  couple  of  weeks 
later  P.  ol  got  a  message  to  come  to  the  St.  C.  hotel. 
P.o2  had  got  D.T/s  and  was  amusing  himself  trying  to 
get  out  of  a  three-story  window.  The  St.  C.  people 
sent  for  P.ol  who  took  the  maniac  away  and  kept  him 
in  his  bedroom  for  four  abandoned  nights.  P.o2  was 
big  and  wiry  and  strong  withal,  and  in  the  lengua 
del  pais  it  was  "no  circus".  P.o2  got  better  and  two 
years  after  P.ol  had  a  telegram  from  him  saying  their 
ship  went  down  in  the  Atlantic  and  took  his  twenty 
thousand  draft  with  her,  and  he  was  busted.  Now  he 
is  in  England  with  a  title  and  estate  and  P.ol  has 
neither,  and  this  is  the  reward  of  virtue — but  P.ol  was 
a  Marshal  once — and 

"The  world  goes  up,  and  the  world  goes  down, 
And  the  sunshine  follows  the  rain; 

And  yesterday's  sneer  and  yesterday's  frown 
never  come  over  again." 

105 


"La  vie  est  vaine : 
Un  peu  d'amour, 
Un  peu  de  haine    .  . 
Et  puis-bon-jour ! 

La  vie  est  breve : 
Un  peu  d'espoir, 
Un  peu  de  reve    .  . 
Et  puis-bonsoir."    .  . 


106 


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